I've Spent Too Much

Kayle Mumby on the streets of Mexico City.

Photo Credit: Kaitlyn Budzak

I've pushed myself too far
Spent too much
Sacrificed nearly everything

But I've fallen in love
Passion grips my soul
And while walking through these streets
All I can do is pray to my God
"Use me! Use me! Use me!" 

And if I collapse to the ground
If I give up the ghost
I can only hope
That my back will be a bridge for you
That will point the way
Towards perfect love

I promise you this
I will always stand 
And I will always cheer you on
For mine eyes have seen the glory

And until we both know this freedom
I will never stop running
I will never stop believing
I will never stop hoping
Because I can't imagine
Heaven without you.

Written by Kayle Mumby

THE TRUTH IS...

The truth is, there is no good night to be working the streets.

Every night spent working on a corner, 
walking by glow of a streetlight, 
approaching strangers in the dark, 
is a bad night. 

Every night, the risk comes 
from a boyfriend, 
a pimp, 
a john, 
another street worker, 
a passerby, 
an overdose, 
a dirty needle, 
an unforgiving environment. 

Every night the social ills that come 
with poverty and greed, 
lust and abuse, 
addiction and apathy, 
get played out on hardened streets. 

But on nights when the temperature drops to artic-like degrees, 
when the wind howls and swirls the bitter cold around exposed bodies, 
through thin layers of hoped for warmth, 
those are the worst nights of all. 

Those are nights when 
the poverty and greed, 
lust and abuse, 
addiction and apathy, 
won't loosen their hold 
to give even an evening's respite from the brutal frost 
that threatens to bite fingers and toes
in less time then it takes to turn a trick 
or inhale a scavenged cigarette. 

Poverty and greed, 
lust and abuse, 
addiction and apathy, 
are unrelenting taskmasters, 
demanding service 
even as extremities turn pale and lifeless 
and hearts turn hopeless.

***************************************************************

I wrote this poem last week, on one of the coldest nights of the year. I had received a message letting me know that there were a number of women out working the streets, even though there was an extreme weather warning as the temperature hovered close to -40 with the windchill. As I cried out to God in the middle of the night, thanking Him for His love for these women and asking Him to protect them, these words came to me. After writing them down, or more accurately, thumbing them into my phone, I felt like the poem was unfinished, yet there seemed to be no words to finish it. It left me hanging, feeling hopeless and wanting more. 

Tonight, I was praying about how to finish the poem when I realized that it is meant to stay exactly as it is. It leaves you feeling like it is incomplete because that is how you should feel when reading words like these or experiencing situations like these. Whether it is in the heartbreak we see happening around us or difficult circumstances happening in our own lives, we FEEL like there should be more because there IS more. 

There is more HOPE. There is more LIFE. There is MORE.
There is JESUS.
He is HOPE! He is LIFE! He is MORE!

If things feel incomplete or unfinished in your life or in your circumstances, it's because they are. There is more. He is more. 

Punching Ghosts

There are nights when I walk through darkness. 

Circled by leering, slow-driving johns, 

on the receiving end of insults and objects 

hurled by fast-driving passersby, 

listening to my "sisters" speak of their longing 

for hope, safety, freedom, peace, love, security, and value.

I walk, fighting tooth and nail, 

against the pervasive and perverse spirits

 of addiction and lust, 

of greed and control,

 of prostitution and poverty,

of slavery. 

And there in the dark, 

I feel like I'm throwing punches at ghosts. 

I find myself wishing for a visible opponent, 

instead of the spirits of the age. 

I want to rage against a man, 

against a system, 

against the bondage; 

and find myself flailing against the air. 

And there in my frustration, my anger,

 my tiredness, and my brokenness, 

I find my real fight 

and the 

ONE 

who is fighting it for me.  

For my fists may be flailing the air

but my prayers,

my prayers are arrows.

They are arrows of the Lord's victory.

They are powerful and effective,

hitting their targets.

There I remember that

He is the ONE who breaks off bondage.

He is the ONE who sets captives free.

He is the ONE punching ghosts for me.

A light in the darkness

God's light (Jesus) shines into the darkness of the world but the world does not understand. We are sent to be witnesses, testifying concerning God's light so that the world might understand and believe. For us to truly bring God's light to the communities and people we seek to reach, we must believe and live a life that reflects and re-presents the light of God. 

This doesn't mean to live a life of striving, of trying to do it out of our own strength and works. It means that we yield every part of our life to Him, passionately pursuing Him. It means reading His Word, soaking it in. Listening to Him speak through ancient, yet living, flowing and life-bringing words. It means spending intentional time in prayer. Acknowledging Him as the source and giver of everything you need. 

If you're a do-er like I am, prayer can sometimes feel like it's the thing you do before you get down to the real work. You know, you pray, you talk to God, you ask Him to do His thing, you say Amen, and then you go about figuring things out for yourself, making your plans, strategizing, working, striving. 

Here's the thing though, prayer is never wasted. The more time we spend with God, the closer we are with Him, and the greater results we will see in our lives. No wasted steps, no stress. In the place of prayer, intimacy grows. In the place of prayer, He reveals divine strategy. In the place of prayer, strongholds come down. In the place of prayer, chains are broken. In the place of prayer, freedom comes. In the place of prayer, the very storehouses of heaven are opened and the wealth of the wicked is released. In the place of prayer, we are filled with His light, set on fire to burn bright in the dark of this world.

Come like the dawn

Early morning dawn on Barton St, Hamilton

No, this is the kind of fasting I want:

Free those who are wrongly imprisoned; lighten the load of those who work for you.
Let the oppressed go free, and remove the chains that bind people.
Share your food with the hungry, and give shelter to the homeless.
Give clothes to those who need them, and do not hide from relatives who need your help.

Then your salvation will come like the dawn, and your wounds will quickly heal.
Your godliness will lead you forward, and the glory of the LORD will protect you from behind.
Then when you call, the LORD will answer. 
"Yes, I am here," he will quickly reply.

Remove the yoke of heavy oppression. 
Stop pointing your finger and spreading vicious rumors!
Feed the hungry, and help those who are in trouble.
Then your light will shine out from the darkness, 
and the darkness around you will be as bright as noon.
The LORD will guide you continually, 
giving you water when you are dry and restoring your strength.
You will be like a well-watered garden, like an ever-flowing spring.
Some of you will rebuild the deserted ruins of your cities.
Then you will be known as a rebuilder of walls and a restorer of homes.

~ Isaiah 58: 6-12 ~